So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
