OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
