He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
