i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
