The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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