My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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