Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
