I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
