K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
