I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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