your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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