I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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