Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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