I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
