My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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