Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
