I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
