There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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