She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
