Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
