i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
