no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
