They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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