i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
