I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
