whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
