I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
