my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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