They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
