you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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