so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
