belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i was born a porn star she said
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
