Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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