Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
