at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
