If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize