Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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