once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
All the doctor said was why
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
