There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
