this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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