you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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