i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
