there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
