this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
