I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize