I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
