I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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