i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
