Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
