You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
