i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I would ride that face into the sunset
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
