I'd wear matching sweaters with you
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize