i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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