He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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