That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
