so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
