We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
