I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
