Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
