Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i barfeds in our rink
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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