Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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