Where are you?
In a non slutty way
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
