You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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