I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
