i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
