its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
