Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
