tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
