No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
