They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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