I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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